Everyone just bow down before Gavin's wrath. He's allowed to be grumpy. He's the funniest, coolest person on the interwebs, and y'all aren't. Frowning your overplucked eyebrows at the thought that someone might be more interesting than Jack Fucking Keuroac? Think harder. And give him the respect due to a man who has changed culture in a way that didn't involve animated characters or pretend-cool rebellion. Oh, and the post that earned his wrath? Hilariously bad, written by someone who needs to get out more in all possible ways. Venerating JK and any of "the Beats" is the intellectual equivalent of wearing a "Doors" tee-shirt. It's fine if you're 15 and are just learning about the world. It's Cool 101: An Introductory Course. Odviously your curiousity and courage started failing just around 17, because you're still mooning over JK and the rest of his generation in their starchy shirts and distant, non-threatening past. Face the facts: getting verbally tea-bagged by someone as interesting as Gavin is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to this writer, this blog or anyone involved with this site. So congratulations, cowardly normals - a genuinely cool person actually noticed you. Now go back to impressing all your pathetic little friends and talking about the Dharma Bums. You will all be married, pregnant and living in the suburbs within 5 years, and no one but the salespeople at the Gap will miss you. You don't deserve this city. You deserve each other.

06:02 AM on January 9